.png)
It would be a lie to say that human beings are capable of surviving without any type of connection. We are made to connect, and those connections or relationships are meant to become experiences that allow us to grow, expand and evolve; the best lessons on planet earth come from these connections.
Because growth and evolution are the natural desires of our soul (even though we may resist this sometimes), we come across diverse relationships to meet this goal. We spend a lot of time, meeting others, connecting, and trying to cope with other souls on many levels: family, friends, lovers, acquaintances, and strangers, all of which are synchronized in a collective and individual dance toward self-transformation.
There is a connection that plays such a role in this process of inner growth that becomes common to most of us. The claimed SOUL MATE or THE ONE. This is a character that has the characteristics of someone coming out of a fairy tale, meeting all our expectations to live happily ever after.
Wait a minute... Really? I´m afraid this is not the real world.
First I believe and noticed, most human fellas have a wrong idea about what a soul mate is
Two, even though most of us are willing to find this special soul; it seems like an impossible mission to accomplish, failure and wrong matches are the common results. Why is that?
This is the part where I bring my personal experience to support these opinions, from experiece, and share with you: why I didn't freak out after getting pregnant 2 weeks after meeting my sacred partner.
Even though everyone around us seemed scared and concerned about the " high speed" of our relationship...
Let's start from the beginning. I have been in that place where my relationships were a complete horror story: drama, trauma bond, toxicity, and pleasing. The type of relationship that deep inside, we know isn't going anywhere but the garbage can, but we keep holding onto because we love to suffer
(I had so many of those!).
In my willingness of finding my "soulmate", I ended up more than once in these types of connections; forcing relationships and repeating the same story. Until, I finally understood the situation was not going to change, unless I didn't change myself first, meaning:
Becoming more conscious about the real meaning of a SOULMATE or as I prefer to call it: SACRED PARTNER.
Healing the shit inside of me; the part in control of replicating over and over the same decisions for poor and toxic relationships.
1. THE MEANING OF A "SOULMATE" (SACRED PARTNER) :
Most of us learn from our culture that a soulmate is another soul-human that is perfect for us. He or she has all the qualities of a charming prince or princess and won't give us hard time until the end of our lives. Basically our other half. But, if we really question this, there isn't such a thing...
The idea of the perfect one isn't real. Don't get me wrong, you can have your preferences and taste about what you want. I surely have mine. But if you understand what a soulmate is for you, it may be easier for you to find it without the ideas and expectations of others. Think about it...
When I questioned the type of person I wanted to share a committed relationship with, I found that the term "soulmate" wasn't even close; a sacred partner was what I was ready to meet.
Someone that is far away from being perfect (let's be honest, same for you and me!) but who shares the same life vision as me, someone connected with his inner world, that has values in alignment with mine and is capable to overcome challenges with love and devotion for our connection. Surely, I didn't want someone perfect or my other half to complete me, but I was ready for someone who was at the same level I was in my personal spiritual journey.
I didn't want a perfect love that makes it into the novel of the year, but I wanted a real, deep connection that holds maturity from both sides, sharing the good and bad (because let's be honest life isn't a unicorn field, it has ups and downs and this is what it makes it unique to experience for us as souls).
Here is where my understanding of a soulmate changed into a sacred partner. From someone out of the fairy tale to someone that aligns with my same level of consciousness and is far away from the typical scripted romantic partnership shown in the movies and our social cultures.
2. HEALING THE SHIT & STOP REPLICATING THE BAGGAGE:
Once we find this type of connection the big part comes in sustaining it. This is where the fun starts. If we are carrying with us the trauma from our childhood, the baggage from previous failed relationships, and the collective ideas from our family and culture about romantic relationships, there is no way we can have the skills and wisdom to hold a SACRED PARTNERSHIP.
Why?
Because walking by the hand of someone and building together without letting the past, the fears or the expectations of others interfere requires a certain level of awareness and personal growth. This happens when you have been "cleaning your palette" as my boyfriend says, and you keep working on your inner house to free yourself from the past and the dirt of your baggage. To not let that take control of your relationship.
If my boyfriend (the current father of my first upcoming baby, yes..we aren't married, yet! ) and I weren't in the same tone of this song, we would not be together, getting ready to be parents.
We met and less than two weeks later, we were living together and pregnant!
This was possible to the fact that from the first moment we crossed paths, we came to each other with clarity of what we look for in a connection. We communicated clearly where we stand by (the times of seduction games were left behind) and before our encounter, we were healing past baggage from relationships and any trauma we held from childhood. So we weren't treating each other like we were still dealing with the previous ones.
The most important part, we were committed to ourselves. We were our first priority and when you are your first love and priority, you act on what feels right to you and not what makes sense to others! This was the game-changer to not base the sacred partnership on what our cultures, past, families, or friends may say, but on what felt right to us.
Not saying this is all pink and roses! Like any couple, we have differences and moments of disagreement, but as a sacred partnership, there isn't time for me to ask my mom or let my unresolved inner issues take control.
We write our stories at our own speed, with our own rules, inside conscious work, and based on love and compassion for each other: Even when sometimes we have to take some dirty laundry out for the other and put it on the table.
This is exactly the reason why we didn't freak out after getting pregnant two weeks after starting our relationship! Because our relationship isn't based on fairy tales or baggage still ghosting us around. It is founded on a new connection, coming from heart and soul, where both of us are committed with devotion to making it work, without forcing things...
The inner guidance of your soul has to be in balance with the conscious work.
Important notes!
Ready to start the conscious-healing work to create a sacred partnership as part of your life design?
HERE ARE SOME TOOLS FOR YOU:
Get my free E-book HEAL & DESIGN YOUR LIFE ( here you learn the first steps to heal, stop repeating the same stories, and start Co.creating your life design following your soul's desires)
Book a 1:1 session with me, discover the root of your personal story that keeps you repeating the same stories with your relationships, and get personalized tools to wipe those from your life and create a real sacred one.
Don't forget to subscribe to my Monthly Blog Membership to receive tips, tools, real-life talk, and more to support your healing and lifestyle transformation, I do not spam, just love! ;D
Beso,
Jen
.................................................................................................................................................................................
About Jen
Im an Intuitive healer, transformational lifestyle mentor, channeler, trauma-informed coach, author, & mom. After facing bulimia disorder, trauma from abortion, depression, childhood abandonment, ancestral trauma, toxic relationships, and a poor and victim mindset I decided to take responsibility for my life, stop the struggle and create a new life design.
During 12 years of inner work, I discovered the importance of understanding that we are MULTIDIMENSIONAL BEINGS: body, emotions, mind, energy, soul & more. We need to heal and integrate every part of our multidimensionality in order to transform with long-lasting results & design the life we desire. Today I keep teaching the basis of self-healing and spiritual growth while balancing my role as the mom of Zen.
Comments